Are You Ready for Marriage?

For singles who wants to start a family, marriage is always the most positive thing they look forward to. Before entering to a new chapter of life, a couple needs to consider several factors that may be left hidden before the marriage. Are you ready for them when it comes?

1.      Know their Character

No couple gets married without knowing each other well. This may seem like a ‘stupid’ question but there are couple that divorce due to different personality. Why is that so? A couple may know each other for many years, some of them decades. However, when they step into marriage and start living together, another side of their lifestyle reveals. Have you ever asked yourself, how many bad habits do you know about your partner? Are you able to tolerate these bad habits? Never try to change them to suit your needs. Most often, it may not work.

 2.      Understand their Financial Status

Marriage cost a lot of money. Sometimes due to pressure from two families, a young couple who earns less than $6000 take home income may have problem financing a simple wedding cost including a traditional wedding rituals and a wedding dinner. Some couples take loans from the banks, credit cards or parents to have a decent wedding which cost around $20,000 or more.

After the marriage, couple will need to save and practically cut on every expense to pay off the debts. Do you have sufficient saving to pay off the wedding expenses? Will you face any problem paying the debt after the marriage without restricting your partner how much they should be spending? To prepare for the worst, if you are retrenched due to recession, do you have enough saving to pay off your daily expenses?

 3.      Exam their Health Status

This is a tricky part and of course the most important part. When I talk about health status, I am referring to the ability to have children. Some couple are not aware and after marriage, they start releasing that one partner may be impotent. Some of them regret entering to this marriage. Are you mentally prepared to accept all kind of possibilities, even to the extent of not having a child? When your partner suffers from terminal diseases such as cancer in the later stage of life, are you prepared to walk down with him or her? This is a big commitment. Sad to say, some couples walk out of each other and to seek a better partner.

marriage couple

  4.      Evaluate their Work Nature

Life before marriage and after marriage is not always the same. Newly web couples may seek agreement to stay apart due to work commitment but if they do not make some effort to be together, the relationship bonding may start to fall apart bit by bit. After marriage, couple hopes to spend more time together. Does your partner need to work overtime, on shift or to travel often? Do you have problem arranging to meet together for a decent meal at least twice a week, without having to look at your blackberry or ipad to answer e-mails and calls? Do you see work more important than the quality time you spend with your partner?

 5.      Living Between Two Families

Marriage is not between two individuals but a marriage between two families. This is so true. Ask yourself, you may have known everything about him or her. Do you know much about his parents, his sibling and their family culture? Are you able to live with each other family background and to bring them into part of your life? When you enter a marriage, you become part of his or her family members. You may not accept what they believe in but you must also not oppose to their belief and to criticize their family members for their behavior or belief.

 6.      Having a Independent Roof

Before marriage, a couple will apply for a flat and after a few years, they can own their own root over their heads. Beside the financial issue on who should pay more for their house, are you ready to delegate part of the housework to yourself or do you expect your partner to shoulder all housework responsibilities? It is no longer true that husband brings home money and wife takes care of all household work.

Someone has to take care of the household issues such as fixing a bulb, a broken pipe, cracked tiles, nailing, cleaning the floor, moving the furniture, washing the cloth, buying groceries and etc. Are these jobs being discusses before the marriage and to be agreed upon? Will this agreement be kept in all circumstances or it comes with an expiry date?  

 7.      Reveal the Past History

Everyone has a past history and relationship. After marriage, there is no secret. It is always good to reveal your past relationship with your current partner when both are ready to move on to the next chapter of life. If you value each other, past relationship should not be mentioned again once there are consensuses. It is damaging if one of you brings this up after marriage and it becomes a common topic.

If you have past relationship and it continues to bother you, find an end to it. Maintain a stable and healthy relationship with your loved one and to move on from here. You should not be living in the past and never compare your past lovers with your current one.

 8.      Planning of Parenthood

Every couple wants to have a child but sometimes your partner may prefer a child sooner or later. Have you spoken to your partner before marriage the number of children he or she likes to have? Sometimes, he prefers a child 5 years later after marriage whereas she prefers one 2 years later. Is there agreement where both decide when to have one? It takes two to make it happens. If both agree not to have one, this will not become an issue.

Conclusion

Marriage, after all, is a complicated mechanism with many issues to consider behind closed door. Having your name registered at Registry of Marriage is just one simple step. If you are ready for all the above, you shall have the blessing to live a good life after the marriage. After all, marriage is about compromise and commitment.