Mending a Broken Friendship

Many broken friendships are destined to stay that way. Renewals are mostly reserved for those special, intimate friendships, the one that bought meaning to our lives. How can you restore broken friendships? We can make new friends but some broken friendships are worth restoring. Here are the 5 plans which help you determine whether or not a particular friendship should be saved.

Step One: The Opportunity Cost

Are you being forced to compromise your principles or subvert your self-respect? Is he or she making  you feel less cared about, less respected or even worried? If the answer is yes to all of them, end this friendship. It no longer works on positive step. Good friendship boost your sense of belonging while bad friendships undermine your security and self-worth. Don't fall into the trap of believing that if you lose a friend, you will never find another.

Step Two: Make Meaningful Contact

If your friends continue to respect and not change you completely, re-establish the contact. How? write a note and invite them for a drink. "Shall we move on and share common values. Are you with me?" That's all. No one wants to revisit a broken friendship, probably due to misunderstanding. Make it simple, straightforward. Open a peace talk with no elaborate apologies. Your friends can feel it, if you are sincere in the re-establishment.

Step Three: Let Bygone be Bygone

We have pride and something we keep our own principles not admit our mistake. When someone hurts us or offends us, we take on a reactive response, an eye for an eye. The problem is, we do not know when it will stop. It is a chain reaction. Forgiveness puts an ends to all that. Set our pride aside. In fact it makes you look more generous to forgive someone than to ascertain you are right and you 'fight' till the end. Try to see their side of the story. Not so much to appreciate what they think or say but to understand how this happens. Never repay anyone evil for evil. It only builds more evils not less.


 Step Four: Diagnose the Problem

There are cases where a close friend of yours stop contacting you and you heard from a third party that you might have said something wrong. However, you choose to let it go without finding the reason. Finding out what is wrong is critically important but so much to determine who is at fault. Close up to 79% of the broken friendship starts from miscommunication, with both side not keen or interested to find out what go wrong. It ends with a question mark rather than a full stop. Friendship comes in grey. No one is totally right or wrong. Pick up some courage to diagnose it together. Open up an honest discussion of differences. How worst can it be?

Step Five: Rebuild Respect

To mend a worthwhile friendship is rebuilding respect for your friend. It takes time to nurture when the friendship is battered and bruised. Acknowledge the qualities that this friendship carry. What makes both of you good friends? For Asian, it is hard to say sorry to a friend or someone closes to you. Use positive body language, tone and message to rekindle the friendship. You need not bow and ask for forgiveness but just a sincere statement, "Are we still friends?" It is not as hard as you think.

No one wants to create foes but friends. While we cannot subscribe everyone we meet to be our friends, let cultivate our own characters and to possess the best qualities in the eyes of the billions people out there. Let them see us as someone with respect and integrity. We create new friends and we mend broken friendship that is worth spending time mending.