Putting Dating On Right Track

Dating is new and exciting but have you ever asked yourself these questions? Am I ready for a real relationship? How do I turn down someone I’m just not interested in? Do we have to publicize it online? It’s easy to lose sleep over the multitude of nagging questions that arise in the pursuit of romance. The answer may not always be obvious, but love is worth the time and intention it takes to get it right. Here are 8 tips to creating healthy dating relationships:

1. Friendship First

It is the biggest mistake if you ditch your friends for new love. Making time for both your romance and friendships is vital to maintaining balance, happiness and healthiness. Keeping friendships a priority in your life helps to maintain your sense of self and identity. Too often, people lose themselves in relationships. Remember friends can be your best advisor if the relationship does not work out. They see things in a different perspective.

friends

2. Purpose of Your Date

We often overlook the purpose of dating as feelings of love and excitement overtake our senses. It is important to pause and clarify the expectations both people have about this new relationship. For some of us, the purpose of dating is about finding a spouse and seeing how compatible you are for marriage. For others, dating is more about a social status, wanting to have a close friend of the opposite sex or not wanting to be alone. Understanding what each of you want out of the relationship will create a healthy and united place for love to grow.

3. When to Update Your “Status”

When does one update a Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Relationship” or vice versa? Broadcasting the state of your relationship on social networking sites is a relatively new phenomenon, and because of that there aren’t really any accepted rules or guidelines. The easiest way to deal with this is to change your status when both people agree to do so.

That means you talk about it and agree to be “In a Relationship” or “Single”—or you can remove your “status” altogether. If you post your romantic life online, be prepared for both positive and negative outcomes. Not everyone will be mature, and it’ll sting if you happen to be dumped and the entire Facebook world knows. Privacy has its merits.

status

4. Put Faith Right

Some of us might think: “We get along, have fun together, are attracted to one another …religion won’t be a big deal. Right?” The thing is, the whole point of believing in something is that it should be a big deal in our lives. It impacts our morals, lifestyle and everyday choices. Think about some of the issues a dating relationship between people of different faiths would create, and work through what your answers to these tough questions would be: What are our respective moral beliefs? Can we agree about cheating, modesty, lying, gender roles, etc.? Do our faiths cause us to have opposing lifestyles?

5. Reject Them Politely

Most of us know how to say yes when someone we like asks us out. What if the person who wants to be more than friends is someone you don’t really want to date? The thing to always remember is kindness. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to put yourself out there. Don’t lie, laugh in their face, or give out fake numbers and fake encouragement. Honesty and kindness are always best. 

rejection

If you don’t find the person attractive, simply say, “this is really flattering, but with apologies, I cannot take you more than a friend. You will find a better one.” Telling the truth, and saying it in a sensitive way, will help the other person realistically deal with the fact that you’re not interested.

6. Long-Distance Relationship

In order to keep a faraway romance strong, there needs to be an equal level of commitment from both of you. Consistent communication via the phone or video chat is important as it allows you to connect verbally and visually and creates shared times together. Handling long-distance relationships takes a special amount of endurance and effort. Each couple will be unique in making this difficult situation work, and they should not feel guilty if it turns out to be too hard to maintain.

long distance

7. Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Don’t break up just because of conflict. Disagreements, tension and fights are normal as you become close with someone. Physical, verbal, mental or emotional abuse should never be tolerated. If you experience any type of abuse, get away from the person and seek help from a trusted adult/counselor immediately. Always break up face to face. Facebook, Twitter, emailing and texting are not the right ways to end things. Everybody deserves the respect and time it takes to resolve things in person.

8. Balance Life & Love

Your relationship should contribute to a well-rounded life, not distract you from your work, faith, leisure or dreams. It’s perfectly fine to spend time with them, but you need to make sure you have enough time to devote to community, staying on top of work and developing yourself daily. It’s all about balance, which is unique to each individual. Romance can easily eat up your time, and formulate some proactive plans to keep an equal balance between love and life.

Always get your dating ideology right when you start a new relationship. You will never regret once you set the right footing.