We Take Love For Granted

We often take love by our spouse for granted. This is one true story from a friend of mine, almost at the edge of divorce, only to safe her marriage and to appreciate the things she had in life. It happens to some of our friends too but sadly, some of them make their decision too fast, only to marry the wrong person or be alone forever.

My husband is a civil servant earning S$3500 per month. He is working for years, always as an executive. We lived in a 3 room HDB flat, no car and no children. I love him for his steady and honest nature. I like the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders when I am tired. Five years of courtship and now, two years into marriage. I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.


I am a sentimental woman, extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for a teddy bear or Barbie doll. My husband is my complete opposite. After marriage, he fails to bring romantic moments into our marriage. He no longer love me like before when we were dating, sending me flowers and eating in restaurants. I used to envy my female colleagues husband who buy them branded handbags and fetching their wife to work.

One day, I decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce and to live a new life. Life is short to live in such misery.

“Why?” he asked rather shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world.” I said. He kept quiet the whole night. I was disappointed by his reaction. This is a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? Before he slept, he asked me, “What can I do to change your mind?”

I guess right. Somebody said it’s hard to change a person’s personality. Clearly, he is not interested at all. Looking at him, I asked him: “If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Now, if I want a flower located on a mountain cliff badly and we are sure, if you pluck the flower, you will fall to your death, will you do it for me?”

men cleaning

Without even thinking, he replied, “I tell you tomorrow.” When I heard this, my hope sank. We did not talk much for the rest of the day. Next morning when I woke up, he was gone. That morning, I saw a piece of paper underneath a glass of hot milo with his handwriting. The note wrote,

“Dear, so sorry, I cannot pick that flower for you. Let me explain further …” This first line showed his insensitivity. I read on anyway to see if he wrote more heart breaking words.

“Whenever you use my laptop, you mess up the software configuration with blue screen. I need to use my fingers to reconfigure it back so you can use it the next time you reboot my laptop. You often left the house keys behind, and I need to use my legs to rush home to open the door for you. Every month, you have cramps whenever your ‘good friend’ approaches you. I have to use my palms to calm the cramps in your tummy, to lessen the pain.

You like to stare at the computer, which is not good for your eyes. I have to use my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and remove the annoying white hairs. You will grow weak and slow in walking one day. I need to hold your hand tight while walking down the street to ensure you do not fall and hurt yourself. Thus, my dear, unless you have someone who loves you more than I do, I cannot pluck the flower and fall to my death.”

I cried as I continued reading. “Now, you know my reasons, why I can’t pluck the flower for you. If you are satisfied, please open the front door. I was out early this morning buying your favourite soya bean drink with no sugar and bee hoon for you to bring to office for breakfast.” I opened the main door and I saw his anxious face, clutching tightly in his hands, the fresh soya bean drink with no sugar and bee hoon.

love key

I am glad he is still alive and he has not gone to pluck the flower. I am sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does and I decide to leave the flower alone. Now I understand, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades await, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms. Flowers, honey words and romantic moments only appear on the surface of the initial relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands out among us. Love unlocks the inner beauty, not honey words and flowers.